Day 3

I expressed joy yesterday at the flexibility a student-teacher offers. But the reality remains the same as always: I can't be in two places at once. Instead of attending a meeting after school today, one I looked forward to attending, I had to be with my son, who would be embarking on an important milestone. Despite my angst and regret, I (we) just couldn't miss it.

Living in Teacher Town, I feel a constant pull toward my job, and it's mostly a good, satisfying pull. Sometimes, although I hate to admit it, that pull is so great that my own kids at home are shortchanged. My school calendar trumped my home calendar until I realized what I'd be missing if I didn't change my plans.

So I picked up my eight year old from school a little early and had the rare chance to see him working busily at his desk, moving about in his class routine with a self-conscious smirk on his face that said, "Yeah, you're impressed. I do this every day." Later, before his big moment, that confidence vanished and I detected panic in his face. Although for days he assured me he wasn't nervous, he suddenly looked a little shaky. As he waited there in line with uncertainty in his eyes, I'm glad I was there to hold his hand.