A few days ago, a freshman asked me if I'd sign up for Pi Day, a fundraiser in which students pay to throw a pie in someone's face. In a moment of generosity, I said yes to a slot during third lunch.
First lunch, I scoped it out with some journalists who were in class with me at the time. Let's just say it was not good. I didn't know a lot of the kids. Volunteers in flimsy plastic ponchos were getting drenched by a shower of Kool Whip, milky rivers flowing down their necks, hair made thick with foam.
I know myself. This scene was not for me.
Back at my desk with a few reporters on the same page, we agreed that I should back out. But how?
Next, a Pi Day organizer politely knocked on my door.
"I'm so sorry," she said. "We've run out of dairy-free whipped cream, so we've taken you off the schedule." She had the expression of someone who thought they were failing at their customer service position.
"Oh, gosh," I said, "I understand,” even though I didn’t know what dairy-free had to do with anything; I wasn't about to argue. "Would you like a lollipop?" I asked, full of gratitude, trying to keep it light.
She left with her clipboard and a sense of purpose. I breathed a sigh of relief.
Thank you, angels. Thank you so very much.
Tidings of great joy! Unto you no cool whip will be flung.
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