F is for First Person

Looking back on parent-teacher conferences, I remember how effectively I could fill the space of those meetings with my own voice. I had no trouble talking a parent's ear off about their child's strengths and challenges, and I was full to the brim with confidence in my attention to their kids as individuals. But oddly enough, I walked away from those events feeling hollow, wondering if my student's parents believed me, wondering if I even spoke the truth. Because how can anyone truly capture a child's experience in school as well as he or she can.

For over three hours tonight, I sat with my homeroom students and their parents for 20 minute intervals of student-led conferences. We worked together over the last week or so to reflect, gather work samples, and set goals for the future. They were familiar with the process--they led their own conferences in the fall--so there was less anxiety on their part and mine. There were a lot of interruptions, as anyone could have predicted, and it wasn't just the snow day, either. No matter. When three or four of us sat around a table, each child perked up and took responsibility for the event. Each one presented their thoughts to their parents with straight posture and true statements about their progress.

I know I'm preaching to the choir on this one, but I'm not afraid to say that you were all right. Instead of making my best effort to paint a picture of my students, my students painted a picture of themselves. Sure, I still chimed in with encouraging questions or some additional evidence to back up their reflections, but mainly I enjoyed sitting by with open ears, and what a nice change of pace that was.

Life lesson: If you want the real story, it's usually best to go right to the source.